I Saw That You Were Dead On Facebook Today
I was on Facebook and I thought, “I haven’t seen her in a while. I should see if she wants to come over and watch football and I went over to her Facebook account and her header now says “memorial” at the top. Not a good sign. I mean, I knew she was very sick and not doing well. She looked horrible the last time I had seen her. It was hard to look at this once robust gregarious girl who had just shriveled before my eyes in a matter of years. She’d come over and tell me about her family. Her brother and his wife and their kids, and sometimes stories of she and her brother from childhood. She’d step out onto the back patio and smoke some horrible cheapass cigarette that smelled horrible. She told me that some guy she had dated had reached out to her and invited her to a concert. I still don’t know if she ever went or not.
She couldn’t drive and she was broke so I’d go pick her up and bring her over. She’d bring something like homemade sugar cookies and we’d make dinner. Sometimes we’d watch football. Sometimes we’d knit. Sometimes we’d knit and watch football. She always talked loud and laughed a lot no matter how skinny and sick she got. After a few hours she’d be tired and I’d take her back home.
I lit a candle. I lit two candles. I spoke out loud to her as if she were in the room to hear me.
It sucks that she got sick and it sucks that she died so young. I’m so sorry she had to go through that fucking shit. It fucking sucks. It sucks for her and it sucks for her entire family and everyone who loved her.